"it's raining, oh guess Lady Gaga needs to find another date then"
Gloomy Sunday. I'm doing my finishing touch for my BIK 3013 class, but still it looks like nothing changes. Still with 1 slide and no others; dumb, slow, loser, lazy, daydreamer, mothafuc** those are the right words to define me in these last few days. Why is it so hard to complete an assignment? even if the due date is 4 weeks after, i still need to complete it.
Having rough time now, struggling with myself to choose the wise act. Whether to stay in UPSI or leave on the second semester. I don't know what am i going to do here, if i go i'm betraying my mum's trust, trust that she poured on me since baby. I can't do that, its cruelty, but at the same time i'm tired of having to fight myself to keep on doing this.
Confine in my own thoughts, dealing with the other 2 it's really a nightmare, i don't know when they even exist, all of sudden i'm stuck with multiple personalities. Wish i could have my own sanity back. I'm like Ichigo, there's so many 'horses' want's to be 'King'. I have to deal with 'them', i need to be strong, i need to control 'them', 'they' must not control me instead.
|My Mind, My World!|
I've done with my reading just now, it's about soft skill and yeah, i can't explain nor brief about it, why? Because there's so many things happen, i am suffering what people would define as 'culture shock' i'm stuck between obligation, i do not know what to do..I had issue with myself before, but this is different i can't deal with it alone, it eating me inside, having too much freedom isn't good for me. It's bad.
I am thinking to quit all the pretense, drop my guards down so i can be more ME. Instead of, what i thought other people want me to be. No, not apok (i curse those ppl who wishes me that). I think that's all, i leave you guys with lots of love.