i complaint!

Man, what a hectic day, assalammualykum peeps,

what cha doin?

This semester proves to be tougher than the last two, i had rough time coping with it. Plus i manage to stay sane throughout this 2 days attending classes. Classes are quite ok..i think. I don't really have the "clashes or rushing" cases that had been bothering the other groups, mine is in perfectly order.

However, the content are really tricky and mind consuming, or at least to me. I think it demand a lot of my efforts. KPP 301* for example, during the class i was having trouble to response and understanding the situation given as well as the explanation. From what i heard, i believe that the lecturer (Dr. Hjh Apetah?) keep on repeating and stressing about the theories such as psychodynamic theory, behaviorism theory that strongly discuss about the children development. 

 Well in this course, it demand our critical thinking in analyzing students development as well as finding a solution based on the theories studied to overcome the growing problem. I think i'll be able to ace this subject, no worries here. :)) teehee!

Another is the Drama subject, sigh...life i full with dramas, that's what i want to response to the lecturer which is Mr Lajiman (his real name) on what is drama. You know to me drama is just a play written by author in portraying issues around them and show it to the audience in a way that is non-offensive at the same time effective. But then again, the true definition according to thefreedictionary.com, a prose or verse composition, especially one telling a serious story, that is intended for representation by actors impersonating the characters and performing the dialogue and action.

what!! quite the same laaa....

i know posting this in a formal way will make it a lil bit cliche but i need to polish my english back, since i have not use it for a very long time... and it is crucial for me to get 4.00 this semester. Here you go, i set my aim and i'll achieve it.

Love to post more, but i have

things to do~

 

Life just being Life

What the hell, if no one likes what i did and will do let them be, i am not here to please them (oh the irony). I'm just freaking clueless with the assignment right now, my progress is nowhere near done oh, this is not great, this is not productive! What should i do to actually start doing it? 

The feeling of accomplishment, is not something that i always have. Everything i did, all of it, seems to me just another lucky charm cast upon me, i don't know for the past years of my life the accomplishment i have made, was is just luck or am i actually accomplished something? I studied, but no, i don't remember anything from my study. Everything seems to be a piece of crap! I don't feel like i have achieve anything. So, what is my real achievement?

Great, thinking way back does not help me at all. I need motivation, MY own motivation not others asserted into my head! I don't want those "You are the last hope of our family", "It's for your own good!" kind of motivation. I don't think they motivate me enough! What to do then? I wake up everyday despite its morning or evening, with nothing particular in my mind. Just another routine day for me, it went by without any special things going on. 

I want to have that real University life, where adventure and friends goes together side by side but, what i have now (i'm not trying to be ungrateful) is something that i have been trying to evade for so long. I used to be very energetic in doing something, well i think i am now but not always, cause there will be something or someone that will rip it out from me. I feel like beating down myself to crap for taking everything what life threw at me. 

I'm going to be an adult, so i should start like one too. But, these habits they are not that easy to kill, it needs time and support from family and friends. The most important part, they need me to always be in good shape physically, mentally and emotionally. I need to be the boss of my body and mind, i shouldn't let myself being to vulnerable, fragile and idiotic. Time will always move forward, it is matter of time when my time will stop ticking. I will never know when.

My Bullsheetness

Yes, i do have wasted my entire time with GLEE and frankly speaking there is a little bit of regrets inside me. The feeling you get after everything you did seems worthless. Maybe not that little but, yeah i do feel it sometimes. Especially when i kinda going on a different direction from where my destiny should be. Well you know what i'm saying? Not feeling into it? Really? Whatever =.="

Speaking about destiny, hmmm... that's a tough thing to talk about. When i was a kid, i've always thought that when i graduated from high school, i would end up being the KB losers! You know those people who don't have anything to do after their school era. I've seen this thing happened over and over and over again. I've seen how my seniors flunked out of high school, ruined their SPM year with stupid, uneducated pranks and end up being the water boy at some old coffee stall. People, i am not insulting what they do or anything, it's just that these youngster have a future that could help them survive this cruel, merciless society. But seeing them throwing away their future just for a cigarette or top up card, this is just stupid. Students flunking out from school will only lead to another worst, inexplicable results. They could be criminals. Yeah, try to think it this way

NO CERTIFICATES/SKILLS  => NO ONE HIRING THEM => NO JOB => NO MONEY => NO FOOD => HUNGRY => WANT TO EAT => BUT NO MONEY => DESPERATE => ROB AN OLD LADY => GOT BEATEN DOWN BY THAT OLD LADY => END UP IN PRISON => IF YOU LUCKY NO ONE WILL TOUCH YOU => IF NOT, YOU'LL SEE => GET OUT FROM PRISON => BAD RECORD => NO ONE WILL HIRE YOU AGAIN => AND THE CYCLE CONTINUES.

However, flunking out from school doesn't make one a loser. And i'm drained.