Oneness.

Assalammualykum,

"The only person who can change your thoughts is YOU"

It will always be purple,

I lied to someone i love and told them, i'm fine. I cheated myself for being who i am now. I hate being invisible, but that's the thing i adore.
I don't have much time now, but still have the time blogging. My mind is not at ease and i am freaking mad right now. I have lots of friends, but none can share my thoughts. I try to change myself and perception, but still encounter parts that hard to change. Why is that? What could be the reason behind all my action lately? I tried to regain control of my mind from that devious 'horses' that had been trying to astray me from my path. Until now they've succeeded and i alone had failed to secure my dignity, it's been years i have live like this, not knowing when is the right time for me to change. I've been thinking of changing my attitude from bad being great, but all of my efforts seems to meet failure. I pray, and missed my prayers like so many times, sometimes i followed my heart to do something bad, in the end i regretted it and vowed not to repeat it again, but i broke the oath. My laziness seems to have taken over me, until now i haven't finish my slide and the presentation is tomorrow. Plus, i have reading test tomorrow which i hope, that all my exercises would be sufficient for me to ride on with it. Not to forget, the grammar test with error analysis, past, present, progressive tense and all the modals that need to be cover by Monday, it seems i had everything planned, just need to go along with it. With all these problems, i could only pray to Allah Almighty that i'll be able to surpass my bad habits and becoming a great human with big heart and very religious being, because i know and admit all things that had and will happen to me had already been planned by Allah. I just need to keep my faith still and continue searching for the true meaning of ISLAM. I prayed and always pray that i will not be an apostle no matter what trouble or belief i encounter upon my life journey, and i hope all my sins will be forgiven before my departure, and i hope i'll be able to contribute something to the islamic community as a human being and as a muslim.

The question is,
When is the right time?