Thursday, October 20, 2011

New Life, Again?


"Having issues doesn't mean it's the end of the world, but it's the end of my world"

These couples days had been kind a slump, with tests going and everything seems to go all over places, i don't know what to think anymore. I had a meltdown just now, after the grammar test, i thought i was prepared with all the revision and stuff, but in the end the test proves me was hard and i can hardly answer it. Yeah, i do well in class with all the explanation given by me, but when you are alone you don't really know what you are doing. It's a total sucks. I don't know the outcome but i just need to buckle up for the worst though. Hopefully it would suffice.

This first semester, we need to get 3.75 above and i aim for the top of the line 4.00, but with this kind
of attitude i wouldn't last for 2.00, my laziness had overwhelmed me i just can't focus, i loose my tracks of time, i've been delaying my work for so long until it actually loaded to a point that i couldn't comprehend. My self-esteem is deteriorating it's start to fall apart and everything seems to be like it used to be in the PAST.

I thought i have started new life here, but the truth is i have been cheating to myself; this is not a new life, it's the sequel to my first episode 'welcome to my hopeless life' starring ME. It is the same plot, same problems, same issues nothing seems to change only the character had change, but still i am having the same issue here. FRIENDS.

Of what rule in this universe that wouldn't let me have a decent moment of my time being at peace and stress-free? Everything had to be super annoying =,=" I tried to be someone else or creating a new persona here, but all of this matter really taken everything out of me. I'm exhausted, tired, fatigue, and extremely confused about everything happening here. Blogging is the only way i could stay sane. Otherwise, i might get crack!!

Alright, here's the brief outcome of what is my agenda for tomorrow, first i need to get my ass to go and perform 'subuh' then i am obligated to tag the PA System for out programme, then i need to set everything up with help. After, that attend class, try not to get a little cocky. At night, it's performing time, which i'm not involve, but still i need to try and busy myself with all of this crappy matter. Guess that's all for now.

p/s: i really wanted to get everything done, i am so not going to ace this semester so many competition and very less companion. Does having new life, worth it?

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