Wednesday, January 9, 2013

i am a scumbag

i had ruined my life. for quite a number of years i have been trying to keep balance in my life, to make it smooth for me and everyone else. but now, i dont think i can do it anymore, for i had ruined my life for nothing to gain. i had jeopardized my own future and broke every promise i'd made.  i do not know the reason of my behavior. i have becoming too dull, idle and ignorant. i am not what i used to be. is this the consequences? the effects? the outcome to my selfishness? have i not be a good person for quite some time? am i not worthy of a good future? i thought i was a good man but, i was WRONG. I was never a good man, i was and still am the man who seek advantage from the weak. Prey for luxury. I am a bad, wicked, sneaky person. I dont deserve a friend. Apparently, i dont deserve anything! I dont deserve to be treated like a fair human being, i am merely an animal trapped in a human form. YES, i am not worthy of this luxury, pleasure and friendship. I am best ALONE. Best to be leave alone and hated by everyone. For everything i'd done bring nothing but misery and failure. I am a failure, an omen to people around me. Even death distance himself from me. What am i, really meant in this world?

1 comment:

  1. God is gracious, turn to Him and seek His face. Surely He'll have the answers;answers that give hope and truths that bring forth tomorrow.