Losing myself

Im just tired with myself....i cant discipline my attitude, my thinking sucks and i believe that im falling backwards! what is worst i dont even care about it. Oh dear, this is the attitude i have been avoiding...urgghhhh i need shut this attitude away!! GET AWAY u freaky, lazy ME!!! i need a balance person in me to make things organize....but with everything happening now i dont think it will be that easy...i just dont want to lose myself...